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SYRTIS STAR

All The News That Fits

QUEEN ANNOUNCES NEW PEERAGES FOR MARS

30 August, London and Syrtis Major: Her Majesty, Queen Victoria, has announced the creation of new peerages to recognize service and duty to the Crown and Her Majesty. These new peerages are to be named after locations on Mars, and they will increase the number of Martian peerages to twenty. The most famous of the existing Martian Peers, the Viscount Tharallton, Discoverer of the Wells of Seldon, will find that he is no longer the senior peer on Mars. The most important of the new peerages to be created is the Duke of the Crown Colony of Syrtis Major, followed in rank by the Earls of Meepsoor and Gorovaan, the Viscounts Haat and Avenel, and the Marquesses Parhoon and Shastapsh. These seven, plus the Viscount Tharallton, will make up the senior peers for Mars, and they will be joined by twelve new baronies. These new peerages will have seats in the House of Lords, though the holders of the peerages are expected to spend most of their time on Mars. Her Majesty's Household staff will release a list on 5 September announcing the list of honourable gentlemen to be elevated to the peerage.

In a related announcement, Her Majesty has announced two new orders of knighthood to recognize service to the government and the advancement of knowledge on Mars. The first of these, the Imperial Order of the Crown Colonies, is to be broken into three ranks, Knights of the IOCC, Commanders of the IOCC, and Knight Commanders of the IOCC. These knighthoods are to be awarded for military and government service. The second order, the Order of Mars, is to be awarded for scientific and cultural achievements as they relate to Mars. There will be only a single rank within the order, though tenure within the order will serve if any questions of seniority arise. The Imperial Order of the Crown Colonies is to be placed before the Order of the Indian Empire in precedence, and the Order of Mars to be placed after the Order of the Indian Empire. The Prince of Wales is to be named the first Knight Commander of the Imperial Order of the Crown Colonies.

Prince Ch'Noora Captured by Marines and USS Chadwick

27 August, Syrtis Major: British military officials have confirmed reports that United States Marines and the light aerial cruiser, USS Chadwick, staged a daring raid on the palace of Prince Ch'noora earlier in the week. The palace, located in S'Narra, surrendered after a brief but pitched battle and the prince was taken into custody by the U.S. commander, Lieutenant Commander Thomas Jerome. The raid was staged in response to growing American concerns over the support Prince Ch'noora had been offering to the infamous Martian brigands led by Altanoor Zahroon. Zahroon, as our readers well know, is wanted for the kidnapping and grisly murder of Mrs. Elizabeth Kincaid, the wife of the former American consul, Mr. Thomas Kincaid, of Chicago. Although Zahroon was not captured, it is readily apparent that with the seizure of S'Narra's prince, there are few refuges still available for the bandit .

Unconfirmed reports have stated that the raid was authorized by the newly appointed American consul-general, Mr. Theodore Roosevelt, who arrived from Earth with his wife and family only a fortnight ago. Mr. Roosevelt has refused comment pending a full report, but sources close to the consul report that he is quite pleased by the operation's lighting success.

Lady Cathleen Detained in Murder Investigation!

29 August, Syrtis Major: Authorities here in the Crown Colony report the arrest and detention of Lady Cathleen O'Donnahue for the murder of her former husband, Mr. Timothy O'Ryan of County Galway, Ireland. Several witnesses have come forward and identified Lady Cathleen as having been seen accompanying Mr. O'Ryan into his rooms shortly before his death. Witnesses have reported that they overheard a loud altercation between the two, and that shortly after Lady Cathleen left Mr. O'Ryan's rooms, he was discovered by concerned neighbors lying dead from an apparent poisoning. Crown officials are speedily handling the preparations for trial and are calling for the case to be presented by the middle of next month

At Dragonshead, Sir Donald Edmund O'Donnahue has refused to discuss the arrest of his sister with the press. A family friend assured the gathered press that Lady Cathleen was innocent and that Sir Donald was planning on travelling to Mars to be at his sister's side during the upcoming trial for murder. Speculation as to motive for the apparent murder have run rampant through both London's and Syrtis Major's society pages, though the true cause remains a mystery at present. One popular theory has Mr. O'Ryan attempting to blackmail his former wife to prevent publication of a novel entitled Eros on an Ether Flyer: The Adventures of a Lady of Pleasure, believed to be a thinly veiled account of Lady Cathleen's trip to Mars. Mr. O'Ryan was planning to publish this anonymously authored work within the next few days. The editors of this paper hope the upcoming trial will clear Lady Cathleen of any wrong doing, allowing her to continue her charitable works.

Orbital Astronomers Report Meteorites

27 August, London: Fellows from the Royal Astronomical Society stationed onboard the orbital platform circling Earth, have reported that a series of meteorite showers have struck over the last two weeks. Unusual in their severity, the meteorite showers apparently brightened the skies for several nights over much of North America and England. There are unconfirmed reports of a single large meteorite landing in rural Massachusetts on the farm of Nahum Gardner. Members from the astronomy department of Harvard University travelled to the farm located near the small community of Arkham to examine the mysterious meteorite. Their full report will be written up in an upcoming issue of the Journal of the Royal Astronomical Society, as well as being presented to the annual meeting of the National Geographic Society in New York.

Railroad Nears Completion

30 August, Cape Town: Authorities report that progress on the Cape Town-Johannesburg railroad continues on schedule for a fall completion date. This vital link in southern Africa should allow the improvement of both cities, as well as providing the British military with rapid transportation should the Natal Province or Cape Colony be threatened by the Zulu nation or by the often intransigent Boer population of the Orange Free State. British officials in Cape Town have confirmed reports that the Boer government in the Transvaal is upset with the railroad, believing that Her Majesty's government has no right to build the railroad. Though British officials do not believe sabotage is likely, they are taking precautions for the inaugural trip, and plan on sending a company of Natal Native Troops along with the railroad on its first journey.

Advice to Mothers

Are you broken in your rest by a sick child suffering with the pain of cutting teeth? Go at once to your neighbourhood chemist and get a bottle of Mrs. Winslow's Specially Improved, Martian Formula, Soothing Syrup. Make sure that the label reads: "Curtis and Perkins: New York, London, and Parhoon" and accept no other. Also good for relieving wind, regulating bowels, and is the best cure for dysentery and diarrhoea. It is perfectly harmless and pleasant tasting too. Sold by medicine dealers for 1 1/2 d. per bottle.

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Posted Monday, 04-May-2009 19:49:31 EDT