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WHAT'S NEW? The Complete Canal Priests Of Mars is now available! The original publication of Canal Priests Of Mars cut slightly over a third of author Marcus L. Rowland's manuscript to fit GDW's adventure format. The Complete Canal Priests Of Mars restores the cut material, features all new artwork by Paul Daly, and adds many useful player handouts. Enjoy the "author's cut" of a classic Space 1889 adventure, or experience it for the first time! See our Buy It! page for more information! Old news is still available on the News Page.

The Syrtis Star

"All The News That Fits"

Peakefellow's Tonic Poisons 100

Asharant, Parhoon Region: Reports from the city of Asharant indicated that more than one hundred Hill Martians have been killed after drinking a shipment of Dr. Peakefellow's Vegetable Tonic and Elixir. The tonic was found by the tribe in an abandoned caravan which was heading north from Parhoon. A detachment of Royal Martian Constabulary was sent to investigate both the caravan and the city of Asharant after reports filtered back from missionaries that the Hill Martians had been poisoned by unknown means. Lieutenant Rory Kincaid, RMC, who led the investigating detachment, confirmed that the poisoning claimed at least 100, and that as many as 200 additional Hill Martians became violently ill upon drinking the tonic. He also confirmed that the caravan had been led by Dr. Peakefellow himself, who was going to the Boreo Syrtis League city-states in an attempt to bolster flagging sales.

The members of the caravan were apparently attacked by a band of brigands and there was no sign of Dr. Peakefellow or any other European. Anyone with information about the attack, or who knows the secret ingredients of Dr. Peakefellow's Vegetable Tonic and Elixir should contact Lieutenant Kincaid, c/o RMC HQ, Parhoon Region, Crown Colony.

Christmas Pud Injuries Family of Nine

Syrtis Major: Inspector John Wilson of Her Majesty's Royal Martian Constabulary, has issued a report concerning the mysterious explosion of a Christmas pudding that injured the Cranstuff family of Little Dorrit St, Syrtis Major. The pudding was made and tinned by the Harppooni Baking Company, Ltd, Littlewatercress Row, Meepsoor, and promised "only the best Earth ingredients made to an exacting recipe handed down for generations to our staff". After being in the oven for nearly two hours, the pudding exploded with the force of a gas explosion, shattering windows in the Cranstuff home, and propelling raisins, suet, and pudding at deadly velocities throughout the home. Several of the children were injured when they were hit by the dangerous currants. Initial reports state that the RMC believes the Martian bakers mistakenly replaced the baking powder with gunpowder or some other explosive, thus providing the propellant behind the deadly pudding. The RMC are asking readers to return any tins of the pudding to their local merchant for a refund.

Fabian Founder Arrested As Bomb Maker

Government House, Syrtis Major: A spokesman for the Lieutenant Governor General's Office reported that a Miss Clarissa Turnbridge, founder and head of the Syrtis Major branch of the Fabian Society of Mars, was arrested early this morning by elements of the city's constabulary. Miss Turnbridge, who is perhaps best known for involvement in numerous protests against the Cadbury Chocolate factory in Syrtis Major and its use of Martian children to stoke fires and haul coal, will be charged before the Central Criminal Court tomorrow morning with being an anarchist and Fenian terrorist, and with attempted murder of a government official. Police raided the meeting of the Fabian Society of Mars last evening after being reliably informed that Miss Turnbridge would be present.

A government spokesman has informed this reporter that evidence has been gathered which allegedly connects Miss Turnbridge to several bombings and attempted bombings, including the attempt to destroy the Cadbury Chocolate works three weeks ago. An investigation of Miss Turnbridge's home early this morning revealed the presence of nearly ten gallons of nitroglycerine stored in crates in her basement, evidence of bomb making facilities, and the presence of several firearms, including a gold engraved pistol believed responsible for the shooting and wounding of Police Constable Henry Evans last Saturday evening.

Once Around Mars is Enough...

New Amsterdam: Reports have filtered in from our correspondent in the Belgian colonial capital that the Nieuville Expedition has mysteriously decided to halt their circumnavigation of Mars expedition begun only two weeks ago. Their experimental zeppelin/ether flyer was to circumnavigate Mars and take pictures of the planet's surface for eventual publication of a fully detailed geographical survey of the Red Planet. Launched with great pride and ceremony, the event was hailed as a moment of triumph for Belgian scientists and geographers. Less than two weeks after lifting off, they returned to the outskirts of the city, dirty, disheveled and looking downtrodden. Dr Armand Nieuville, the financier and lead scientist is reported to have said "Once around Mars is enough if a man wishes to remain sane and happy... and I wish I were either at the moment". What this mysterious comment means and why the expedition returned will have to wait for further reports to come from our correspondent in New Amsterdam.

Tyler Foundation Funds New Dig

Tyler Museum of Martian Antiquities, Syrtis Major: Mr. Lionel Tyler, the boy wonder of Martian archaeology, has announced that he and his associates have recently uncovered the lost city of Uaruarti, three hundred miles to the north, northwest of the Belgian city of New Amsterdam. Mr. Tyler, with his usual self-confidence, announced that this may yet be the biggest archaeological discovery on Mars. He stated that he and his associates were being pur
sued by a band of High Martians who were intent of slaying the Tyler party for the mistaken assumption that they had been involved in the rescue of the missing heiress Colleen Macquire. When the High Martians flew too close to their damaged aerial flyer, Mr. Tyler took his patented dynamite cannon and fired at the pursuing villains. Admitting that he had misjudged the amount of dynamite the gun could safely discharge, he fired the gun into the trailing High Martians. The estimated two thousand pound charge of TNT plummeted to the ground before exploding, but in the process unearthed the tops of several ancient Martian buildings. After the rest of the party discouraged the pursuing Martians through more conventional means, they returned to explore the now exposed city.

The party investigated the top floors of several buildings before discovering an inscription describing Uaruarti, once famed for its dramatic rogo wood carvings and for its fanciful, swooping warkites. One of the party members, coincidentally the once missing Miss Macquire, also discovered a small model of a Uaruarti constructed warkite, believed to have once been a child's toy. The piece is now on exhibit at the Tyler Museum. Mr. Tyler would like to inform the general public that he is looking for a brave group of seasoned explorers to return with him to the lost city of Uaruarti and to explore it thoroughly. Enquiries can be made care of the Tyler Foundation in Syrtis Major.

Peak Freens Biscuits and Crackers Are Most Nice

Yes, for those evenings of joyous company, waiting to be served their Stilton and Port, the Water Biscuit should be your first choice. For Cream Tea, or just your ordinary one, the Tea Biscuits we make are just wonderfully appropriate to fill the hole in your appetite. We have the right biscuit and cracker for every occasion and are proud to announce that they are now available in Syrtis Major and other large cities in the Crown Colonies.

Posted Monday, 04-May-2009 19:51:01 EDT